What you don’t know could hurt you!

Dating violence occurs in a relationship when one partner abuses the other.  Abuse includes any words or actions meant to control or hurt another person.  It can include physical, sexual, or emotional abuse.  It is a pattern of violent behavior that someone uses against their partner.

Teenage Power and Control in Dating

Qualities of a Healthy Relationship

Y Clear Communication
Y Shared Decisions
Y Give and Take
Y Friendship
Y Honesty
Y Respect
Y Support
Y Trust

 

Qualities of an Unhealthy Relationship

• Control of partner
• Name-calling
• Insults
• Coercion
• Violent acts
• Withholding resources
• Isolation
• Stalking
• Jealousy

Become Educated About the Characteristics of an Abusive Relationship

• Communicate Clearly
  P Let your partner know you will
        not tolerate abuse.
  P Discuss sexual boundaries
        before the situation arises.
• Stay in Control
  P Do not use alcohol or drugs.
  P Have your own way home
        just in case.
  P Always carry change for a pay
        phone.
  P Pay your own way.
• Be selective and cautious about who you date.
• Avoid isolated places.
  P Double date or go to public
        places.
• Trust your instincts.
  P Get to know the person before
        going out.
  P Go out with a group if you feel
        uncomfortable alone.
  P Talk on the phone or write
        letters or e-mail for a while
        before dating.
• If the person is impatient or refuses to discuss your concerns, you should question going any further.

Ending an Unhealthy Relationship

• Believe in yourself.
  
  P Stand by your feelings.  If you
        were abused, talk to someone you
        can trust.
   
• Get help.
  
  P If you fear you are in danger,
        seek shelter, call police.
  
  P Talk with a friend, crisis hotline
        school counselor, or member of
        the clergy. (See phone numbers
        for the Dove Center on this
        site's Home Page. Click Here)
  
  P Consider Counseling, even if the
        abuse occurred long ago.
   
• Get Out.
  
  P Abusive relationships usually get
        worse.  Make sure you are safe.
        Resist the temptation to give the
        person one more chance.

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