Have you ever:
  • Pushed, scratched, grabbed, hit, kicked, or physically hurt your partner in any way?
     
  • Threatened to commit suicide if your partner breaks up with you? Threatened to hurt your partner or your partner’s friends or family if he/she left?
     
  • Forced your partner to have sex with you?
     
  • Had trouble controlling your temper?
     
  • Been obsessed with where your partner is and what he/she is doing?
     
  • Interrogated your partner about where he/she was or who he/she was talking to?
     
  • Tried to keep your partner away from his/her family or friends?

There are 4 Types of Abuse:

PHYSICAL


Pushing


Punching
 


Biting


Hitting

Using or Threatening with a Weapon

EMOTIONAL/VERBAL
 

 

Harassing

 

Ridiculing
 


Humiliating


Insulting

 

 

 

Ignoring

 

Controlling
 

Jealous Behavior

  

 

  

 

FINANCIAL & ECONOMIC

Making your mate ask you for Money

 

Controlling the Family Money

Making Decisions about what Purchases are allowed
 

 

Not allowing your mate to have money of her/his own

  
     

SEXUAL


Rape

Incest


          Sadistic Acts
     

 

  • Admit you have a problem and realize that controlling someone is not loving someone.
  • Take responsibility for your feelings and actions. Only you are in charge of what you say and do.
  • Understand that things will only get worse if you do not seek help.
  • Become educated about abuse.
  • Seek treatment to learn coping skills and alternative behavior.

  • Find a counselor.

    * Give yourself credit for
    admitting that you
    have a problem!

What to do if you are a friend of an Abuser

Do: Be specific about what you saw, and how it made you feel. “I didn’t like it when you told your partner that he/she was stupid. I can only imagine how it made your partner feel.”

Do: Take a stand. “I’m not going to sit here as your friend and watch this happen and not say anything about it.”

Do: Give your friend a reality check. Let your friend know that violent actions may have negative consequences. “This is a crime, and you could be arrested.”

Do: Urge your friend to seek help. Your friend can talk to a counselor, a coach, a member of the clergy, any trusted adult-even an older sibling or mentor.

Do: Offer support and encouragement to your friend.

Don’t: Make your friend feel ashamed. You care about your friend, and you want his/her behavior to change. If you didn’t think your friend had it in him/her to be a decent person, you probably wouldn’t be hanging out with him/her.